VictimLittle

This is not, today is nothing more than a perfection of an excuse.

Someone with a great many assortment of idols, people belonging to the exclusive group that makes them worth mimicking.

Those idols had various attitudes, beliefs and skills, many of which seemed to be of great use.

Ill deeds, Villainous attitudes and horrid beliefs were mentioned as things to avoid, and avoided they will be.

Yet, to be too dedicated, while going various forms of strife, will eventually lead to an odd desire.

Nothingness.

The desire to become nothing, to feel nothing, to know nothing, to understand nothing, to want nothing.

To then, almost become successful, only for the strife to fade, a great deal of unexpected fortune happens and hope properly re-enters.

Something.

The desire to become something, to feel something, to know something, to understand something, to want something.

A contradiction now exists, nothing and something at the same time.

Never ending struggle, a loop without an exit.

A moment of an insane rambling begins.

What is even the point of doing anything for nothing at all when something is what is desired but doing something for nothing is somehow an honorable thing to be doing and can anyone even explain to how to both do something and nothing at the same time, why even bother doing one when you have to do the other but to do both is impossible, but also a major requirement to not annoy or inconvenience whoever is being dealt with, having a reputation for accomplishing certain things and being a certain way may lead to nice comfortable life but what if you want to not be yourself for a moment, whoever that may even be anymore, not that it matters if this feels like the only to figure things out about how life can be but what if you scatter too much of many different identities around across many different people that all expect a certain person and if any part betrays those expectations an assumption will be made that something is wrong but what if nothing is wrong beyond the usual day to day tasks, what if there is something wrong but not what is assumed by those around with the exception of the few who know the truth but what if even those who know the truth do not know the whole truth and are only privy to how far you have gone into the lies or the number of some of the identities but not what they are or where or only that there are some that they do not even know about, why bother with it at all when the future is becoming more and more hopeless as the realization that more could have been done in the past and the fear that if nothing is done soon then hope will truly fade, but there is also the chance that hope wont fade and that it is all withing the mind but what if the mind is right about the hopelessness of things but what if its not but also what if it is due to circumstances within the past that provides these fears but if they are not due to more modern circumstances that have potential of not happening but these are elders and the elders are the ones who allow this until their eventual demise and life much fixed before that point so escape can finally be possible as the wish is to be far from them and not having to see them ever again with the exception of events connected by the assumption of blood over chains but the chains are preferable because the chains ask nothing of you beyond what is expected and what is expected is reasonable but sometimes what the blood asks for drastic and all because of the fact that is blood it is somehow a serious issue and that is understandable to see, and yet is all a never ending pit disjointed by an unknown but known thread that people both praise and admonish and how can people even think that their actions are justified when the crimes are undeserving or if the crimes were undeserving why let the criminal live rather end it now and what even is a person like me talking about now this is getting crazy or was it already i think the insane rambling part is correct as this is nothing more than just that, like the fact that are exactly how the act and that is who they are no matter if bad or good but then there are people that do bad but say that they are the next messiah of world which is a strange thing as has anyone heard of hold on never mind yes there is a group of people that claim to do bad when in fact they are good and that makes matters confusing and then there people that say terrible things, act as if good, but a quick glance reveals their nature, and explaining that their nature is bad does nothing as they believe it to be good as they do not understand why they are the way they are or even that something is wrong about anything of anything around here, a rambling on a rambling in the rambling ramblings are losing focus on the point in the point of the hole ceiling where our ideas are resting and hope of the people continues to falter as does mine but not to the same extent as why would anyone want to do that at all but why does money mean what it does if people do not want it to and also why does everything happen the way that it does to such an extent that we misunderstood what it even means to get the bread that people online keep mentioning on the upside down, how does that even happen in the world of our hearts and mind that can never fill the hole in the hole of the ground underground in the sky that sounds funny so why does zap go zap, why that word and not something else surrender to the despair that surrounds never ending point on the end of that thing people know about distractions all around and yet there is a never a hope to be found unless you want it but if you want and cant get it what then how does that work what could happen for the whole world in the upside down and why do I like saying upside down what is twain, not the author the word is what I mean never a read a thing from twain but maybe things that were twain this is all bad I am not doing the excellent with the exception of the discovery of a rival I found that I wish to compete with but calling them a rival is a bit much as they have not the faintest idea of who I am, yet I wish for them to be so as they granted me the hope that perhaps I am not as lacking in a personality as once thought and yet I can't bring myself to even talk to them yet I wish to do so because of our similarities and certain skills but I can't bring myself to even talk about them to other people due the fact of the things that are different I do not wish be associated with in spite of the fact that those things are different and yet by simply admitting that they share similarities with me is what makes me so hesitant yet at the same time I do wish to speak to them but I cant due to 1 difference in particular making me feel shame that I consider them a rival and yet I still wish to and yet I fear I may have to construct another false identity, but this time that identity will have to be one solely dedicated to speaking to that one rival I wish to have as a rival as a rival but to do so could fracture what little I have left even more than it has already been on the upside down holy holiday mess up what is even happening anymore by the goodness that exists within humanity I am enjoying this insane rambling how can I even do this for this long I am just writing word down and somehow having fun what even is this how or why is this happening mysteriously I suspect nobody is reading this anymore to nobodies surprise not even my own as I wrote this so I should expect this why do some authors get concerned with people not believing the world that was written beyond a few things I mean if its a book you wrote you decide yourself how to write and that will have an effect on how people wish to view the world written in your story but what about special effects in television shows and or movies or whatever I mean depending on what you are watching does it even matter if it looks like it could be real I mean you know its not but people seem to judge under the same lens even if it is silly or serious in some cases it seems weird but what is it that makes people complain about stuff and I am including myself among people that complain as that is fair and I do complain about stuff this is going to need end soon it is getting late and I do not know how I am even capable of going this far with this moment of insanity that I've been in how can I even freeze but oh I am going insane again oops should not be doing that now this has been fine but reality needs me now or is it me that needs reality or whatever no but I am going to back out to the style from before.

A moment of insane rambling has ended.

Nothing can never be something, but nothing can become something,

the desire for something will never end but someone can only hope to be.

Trapped in the dark, constantly wishing for light, yet the light feels like poison, but the dark feels like a prison, no escape is possible, but it is desired.

A misunderstanding made at the start,

the day was going fine as the fool played its part.

Discovered a strange sight in the stream,

for someone other than the fool, it would be a dream.

A mistake was made that was hard to fix,

one friend secretly told with great trust.

Mistake revealed to like some lousy magic tricks,

laughter caused the soul to horribly bust.

Event still haunts the mind,

no help anywhere to find.

Constant mockery fills the soul with rage,

everyday since, an extra lock is added for the cage.

Positive energy starts fade,

negativity replaces what once was there.

Friendships crumble apart as views turn to jade,

a spiteful soul is what remains here.

Love and affection turn bitterly sour,

nothing was gained with every wasted hour.

Only comforts left found in hatred and pain,

the only feelings from which one can gain.

All they can see is a crying fool,

so the fool spitefully refuses to shed a drop.

Treated as nothing more than an entertainment tool,

just so they can laugh while standing at the top.

A few must suffer for the rest to have fun,

unless they deny the suffering till the end of the sun.

Entertainment requires the suffering of some other,

those who suffer must be fools, else why even bother?

Joy is repelled and spite fuels the mind and soul,

regrets spawn and spiral out of control more.

All that is left is a body going after an empty goal,

what was the fools useless life even before?

Many months, A few years, barely a day, too many hours, not enough seconds.

There was someone who existed, someone who people have interacted with.

What happened? Where did they go? When were they last seen? Did that person even exist in the first place?

Whoever they were, whatever they meant, however they acted, whatever they did, they seem to be like nothing now.

Is this person alive? Have they died? Are they feeling well or unwell? Have they forgotten? Have they moved on? Could they be busy?

Who even was this person? Will they remain in the minds of others, or are they doomed to fade away as nothing more than an unimportant person, not worth remembering for the rest of someone else's life?

Will anyone remember them? Will they remember the personality or the accomplishments more?

Did they waste the time of others, or do others wish they could have more time to see this person?

It matters not.

Whatever happened, they are gone.

Whatever happened, we do not know.

Whatever happened, nobody is informed.

Whatever happened, until they return, if that ever happens, they will be forgotten, as long their fate remains unknown.